Someone decided to create discourse...again!
Welcome to a blog about beautiful chaos from the perspective of a social worker gone mad.
During this first post, I will briefly introduce myself and also share with you the discourse I plan to create in the world of social work.
My name is Stephanie, I turned 42 years young last month, and I am a graduate student, again, at the University of Southern California. This time around, I am working on a Doctor of Social Work degree. I am a very blessed woman who has experienced way too much chaos in such a short lifetime ... and I cannot wait to see what the next 42 years will bring.
I am married to my first real love and we have blended our children, to make a total of six! We are fortunate enough to be expecting our second grandson this December. Grandparenting has been very exciting for us because we are afforded the opportunity to have all of the fun without any of the responsibility when we are done running amok.
I have worked in the area of medical social work, emergency room psychiatric liaison and currently as a licensed clinical social worker for active duty military. I am always looking for opportunities to learn and grow as a person, and my husband swears that he is being affectionate when he says that my hobby is being a student. So much for self-care!
The DSW program through USC evolves around the 12 Grand Social Challenges that the world is currently facing. I have chosen to work on a solution to the Grand Challenge: Ending Family Violence with an emphasis on the impact of psychological abuse. If you think that is a tough problem to solve, trying solving homelessness - I am not that ambitious. No actually, I probably am; however, I wanted to focus on something that I would feel extremely passionate about, and that is psychological abuse.
--------------------
On a serious note, family violence is something that has personally affected me in a multitude of ways. I have been lucky to recover from childhood psychological abuse but many individuals are not as fortunate in this way. What do I mean? I received a call from my sister, on my birthday - of all days, informing me that my ex-brother in law had murdered his wife and then committed suicide. I was mortified. What an ass! SOB, WTF and WTH? Our family was in shock for weeks following the news and immediate aftermath. Fortunately for those of us remaining, he ended his violence at that point and did not move forward with taking the lives of others. But what he did leave behind is a chaotic mess.
Yes, alive and unwell in the home that night was his 15 year old stepdaughter. Are you freaking kidding me? Because taking her mother away from her was not enough, so he gave her an elephant-sized dose of trauma to deal with for the remainder of her life. Oh, oh, and I haven't had a chance to mention that he also had children with my sister - yes, a 24 year old stepdaughter whom he raised, a 19 year old daughter and a son in high school. My nephew received a phone call from his mother while he was on the way to school with some friends.
How do you wrap your mind around the events that occurred without vicariously traumatizing yourself? Well, you don't. You just don't. Facebook posts went out and at first we saw many posts that would lead friends to believe that the couple had committed suicide, until this social worker stepped in and addressed the elephant in the room. This guy was my best male friend in high school, lived with our family for several years, fathered my nieces and nephews and then lost his way and committed a heinous crime. Nope, that couldn't possibly have happened in my safe, secure and blessed world. But it did. And as time went on, I grew angrier and more sad than I could even express. Friends texted, called, and posted about the questions everyone shared - WHY NOT JUST TAKE YOURSELF? Healthy minds cannot understand because it is too horrific to comprehend. Just like when someone rips off a corporation and you think to yourself, "I would never have thought of that." No, you wouldn't think of it because your brain doesn't work that way.
So a week after the event, I began my first semester of grad school for my doctorate. It sincerely lost its pizzazz after the event that shook my birthday. But I pressed forward after deciding that enough is enough - I was determined to figure out WHY people suffer from low self-esteem, and one answer continued to resonate and it was psychological abuse.
Last week, I was able to attend the memorial service for his wife. Her children were kind enough to allow me and my husband to be there. I am sure it was very confusing and uncomfortable for them as all they ever knew me as was their stepfather's old friend and ex-sister in law. I wanted them to know that they are not alone. I am upset too. I want nothing but honor for their mother and for them. I want them to know that no matter how I came to know their mother, my loyalty was to her and her children. That I was not going to deny that why my old friend did was horrible, selfish and inexcusable. No matter what he felt he was going through, and no matter how victimized he felt he was, he had no right to ruin the lives of so many people, especially her children.
So, for a first entry, I know this was intense, but that's because psychological abuse, which is something he had suffered as a child and grew to impose upon his friends and family was intense as well. Psychological abuse has one of the most lasting impacts on an individual, is difficult to substantiate or prosecute and has severe impact on an individuals well-being for a lifetime, if untreated. My goal is to bring awareness to all of us, that the words we speak and the manner in which speak them are powerful.
During this first post, I will briefly introduce myself and also share with you the discourse I plan to create in the world of social work.
My name is Stephanie, I turned 42 years young last month, and I am a graduate student, again, at the University of Southern California. This time around, I am working on a Doctor of Social Work degree. I am a very blessed woman who has experienced way too much chaos in such a short lifetime ... and I cannot wait to see what the next 42 years will bring.
I am married to my first real love and we have blended our children, to make a total of six! We are fortunate enough to be expecting our second grandson this December. Grandparenting has been very exciting for us because we are afforded the opportunity to have all of the fun without any of the responsibility when we are done running amok.
I have worked in the area of medical social work, emergency room psychiatric liaison and currently as a licensed clinical social worker for active duty military. I am always looking for opportunities to learn and grow as a person, and my husband swears that he is being affectionate when he says that my hobby is being a student. So much for self-care!
The DSW program through USC evolves around the 12 Grand Social Challenges that the world is currently facing. I have chosen to work on a solution to the Grand Challenge: Ending Family Violence with an emphasis on the impact of psychological abuse. If you think that is a tough problem to solve, trying solving homelessness - I am not that ambitious. No actually, I probably am; however, I wanted to focus on something that I would feel extremely passionate about, and that is psychological abuse.
--------------------
On a serious note, family violence is something that has personally affected me in a multitude of ways. I have been lucky to recover from childhood psychological abuse but many individuals are not as fortunate in this way. What do I mean? I received a call from my sister, on my birthday - of all days, informing me that my ex-brother in law had murdered his wife and then committed suicide. I was mortified. What an ass! SOB, WTF and WTH? Our family was in shock for weeks following the news and immediate aftermath. Fortunately for those of us remaining, he ended his violence at that point and did not move forward with taking the lives of others. But what he did leave behind is a chaotic mess.
Yes, alive and unwell in the home that night was his 15 year old stepdaughter. Are you freaking kidding me? Because taking her mother away from her was not enough, so he gave her an elephant-sized dose of trauma to deal with for the remainder of her life. Oh, oh, and I haven't had a chance to mention that he also had children with my sister - yes, a 24 year old stepdaughter whom he raised, a 19 year old daughter and a son in high school. My nephew received a phone call from his mother while he was on the way to school with some friends.
How do you wrap your mind around the events that occurred without vicariously traumatizing yourself? Well, you don't. You just don't. Facebook posts went out and at first we saw many posts that would lead friends to believe that the couple had committed suicide, until this social worker stepped in and addressed the elephant in the room. This guy was my best male friend in high school, lived with our family for several years, fathered my nieces and nephews and then lost his way and committed a heinous crime. Nope, that couldn't possibly have happened in my safe, secure and blessed world. But it did. And as time went on, I grew angrier and more sad than I could even express. Friends texted, called, and posted about the questions everyone shared - WHY NOT JUST TAKE YOURSELF? Healthy minds cannot understand because it is too horrific to comprehend. Just like when someone rips off a corporation and you think to yourself, "I would never have thought of that." No, you wouldn't think of it because your brain doesn't work that way.
So a week after the event, I began my first semester of grad school for my doctorate. It sincerely lost its pizzazz after the event that shook my birthday. But I pressed forward after deciding that enough is enough - I was determined to figure out WHY people suffer from low self-esteem, and one answer continued to resonate and it was psychological abuse.
Last week, I was able to attend the memorial service for his wife. Her children were kind enough to allow me and my husband to be there. I am sure it was very confusing and uncomfortable for them as all they ever knew me as was their stepfather's old friend and ex-sister in law. I wanted them to know that they are not alone. I am upset too. I want nothing but honor for their mother and for them. I want them to know that no matter how I came to know their mother, my loyalty was to her and her children. That I was not going to deny that why my old friend did was horrible, selfish and inexcusable. No matter what he felt he was going through, and no matter how victimized he felt he was, he had no right to ruin the lives of so many people, especially her children.
So, for a first entry, I know this was intense, but that's because psychological abuse, which is something he had suffered as a child and grew to impose upon his friends and family was intense as well. Psychological abuse has one of the most lasting impacts on an individual, is difficult to substantiate or prosecute and has severe impact on an individuals well-being for a lifetime, if untreated. My goal is to bring awareness to all of us, that the words we speak and the manner in which speak them are powerful.
Comments
Post a Comment